I talk to young people a lot about successful marriages. And most times our conversations are centred around the issue of “How do I know if who I am dating is the right person for me to get married to”.
They ask – “There are more than 2 or 3 people in my life, who I could get married to; or who want to marry me, how do I know who to Marry”.
Most young people are afraid of making the wrong choice of a life partner. So they ask questions like, “How do I know who God’s will for me is”? And so on.
Personally I’ve also sampled circular opinion, and I’ve heard very funny opinions from people on the reason why they think they should marry a particular person. Funny opinions like, “I’ll marry him or her, if s/he brings me breakfast in bed; if we have meaningful sex; if s/he makes me laugh. etc..
Some people even give reasons like she is studying to be a medical Doctor. She will get a good job to support the Family; He is rich and from a wealthy family, so we won’t suffer when we get married.
As important as these reasons are; any reason for marriage that comes from a selfish inclination, will most times experience disappointment.
Let me tell you the most important reason I recommend, should make you marry a lady or say yes to a man for marriage. This is disappointment proof.
Because God Said So: As simple as this sounds; as ordinary or may be difficult as it sounds. This is the best way to know, if you should marry a lady or say yes to a man. Yes!! Because God Said So.
The challenge with this is.. Many ask the question, how do I hear his voice? How can I tell it is His voice speaking to me.
Now in this post I can’t begin to answer the question about how God speaks to us his Children. But if you don’t hear God speak to you, or cannot truly tell the difference between the voice of the Spirit of God and other voices in your head. Then, I encourage you to desire to hear Him, seek him primarily by reading his word, and begin to yield yourself in the little things, He will ask you to do. As you yield to the little things, you would begin to learn to hear his voice about weightier matters.
In 2011, I was in a prayer meeting. And in that prayer meeting, we weren’t praying for marriage or a life partner. We were actually praying for Rural Rugged Evangelism. After that prayer meeting, I opened my eyes, and standing straight before me at the other side of the prayer hall, was the lady, who I am now married to and I heard a small voice say to me “That is Your Rest”.
Of course we were already “friends” in the fellowship. I knew her as one of the sisters in fellowship and we talked from time to time. Nothing more.
In my head, I had 1000 arguments to argue why she shouldn’t be the one. But later I yielded to that voice. The only trust I had in the beginning is that God said so.
Later I found out from my wife that even before I heard that voice from God, that she heard God speak to her about me, she had her arguments with God. But in the end she also yielded.
As the years come by, everyday we see why God led us in this direction. All the arguments about, He is fat, she is not very tall, We come from extreme family backgrounds… bla bla bla… don’t hold water today. And we are super grateful to God that we obeyed.
You see… “when the Spirit of the Truth comes, he will take you by the hand and guide you into all the truth there is… he will make sense out of what is about to happen”…
The problem with many of us is that we want to understand everything before we begin the process; No. He guides us into the Truth. He expects you to begin the journey as he guides you in His Will. That is the Accurate pattern.
There are other reasons to consider when choosing a life partner. But for me this is the most important. Because you see, what God does not Alpha, He won’t Omega. What he doesn’t Begin, He won’t bring to perfection.
We will discuss other reasons like “Having the same Vision and Passing the Compatibility Test” in another publication. But for now my counsel to you is.. Marry that person who God is leading you to marry. Stop arguing with the voice of God. God’s leading is disappointment proof, because God does not fail.
We will love to read your opinions and answer any question on this in the comments session.
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