As far as I can remember, I was in Primary School, Primary 4 or 5, and I used to experience a lot of eczema, a fungal skin infection with red, scaly, and itchy rash on my body. At that time, I was about 9 or 10 years old.
My mum then, after a lot of enquires from pharmacies and doctors, started treating the eczema, I can’t really remember the name of some of the drugs and eczema creams. But I remember the name of the soap she got for me to use at that time. It was Crusader Soap.
Crusader Soap is a medicated soap with recognised antiseptic and germicidal properties that helps to prevent skin infections, pimples, boils, prickly heat, lice in the hair and body odour. It helps to clear the skin and keep it healthy. Crusader Soap was very effective in treating eczema. But there was a problem. It had a very strong, harsh, discomforting smell.
I went on to secondary school, boarding school, Federal Government College Ikot Ekpene, and all through JSS1 to SS3, I used Crusader. Of Course, as a boarding school Student, I was still fighting not just eczema, but skin rashes too.
After Secondary School, Skin rashes and eczema was no longer a problem, my mum had even stopped buying toiletries for me. But I continued using crusader soap, I bought it for myself; I mean, why not, that was the soap, I had used all my life.
All through University, NYSC and my bachelor life. My room mates will complain that the smell of my soap was too harsh, strong, and discomforting. Friends who visited me will usually from the door ask me, what soap are you using, and tell me the smell was too strong and harsh.
Truth is I didn’t care. This is the soap that had saved me from eczema all my life, and I wasn’t going to change it. I even had this female friend, who visited me. She sounded like, if this friendship was going to go forward, you would have to stop using this soap. Well in my mind, that friendship was not going forward. My soap was BAE (Before Anyone Else).
Then Boom! I met my wife. Even before we got married, she noticed I used this very strong, harsh soap that had a discomforting smell. She asked why I used it, and I told her the story, then she asked, do you still have eczema? And I responded No. And that was it.. She didn’t raise that topic ever again.
After we got married, I knew she didn’t like the smell of my soap, she had her own soap, which was very nice. I admired it. But I was a stubborn goat. Her sister once visited, they talked about my soap and how discomforting the smell was, but my wife defended me. Whenever my soap needed replacement, she would go to the store and buy more. I knew she didn’t like the smell. But she was just cool about it. Kai, I love my Wife.
Then, there was a time when Crusader Soap became very scarce, in the location where we lived. The price went up from 350 Naira to about 1,200 Naira. Even at that price, it wasn’t even commonly available. I believe that was how God answered my wife’s silent prayer.
Long story made short, and the truth is that I can’t even remember how it happened, but today I don’t use that soap again. I recently had thoughts about it. If my wife had ever nagged or gave an attitude about that soap, I will still be using it today, no matter the price and scarcity. But she handled it so cool, respectably and wow! She broke my ego by her gentility.
My Spirit asked me these questions:
Do you still have eczema?
Are there better options of a bathing soap to use today?
Do you truly love your wife?
I answered to myself, if truly I love my wife, then I should make it comfortable for her to live with me in my house. That was how I said bye-bye to a soap I had used for over 20 years.
In the same way, I advise couples to make sacrifices and not hold on to habits, traditions, attitudes, and behaviors at the expense of your spouse’s happiness. Your Marriage would be successful, if you stopped holding on to things that don’t promote the happiness of your spouse.