Do you and your spouse find it hard to effectively communicate in your marriage. Do you and your spouse find yourselves acting inappropriate towards each other in certain situations and can often appear selfish or distant. The truth is that, these are true signs of emotionally immaturity.
Let me give a very simple definition of Emotional Immaturity. Any emotional behaviour that is out of control or not appropriate to the situation can be considered immature. It’s more like the emotional reactions you might expect to see from a child rather than from an adult. When an Adult expresses uncontrolled emotions over a situations in marriage, that is emotional immaturity.
We also found out that most people don’t even know when they begin to act emotionally immature towards their partner. This Article will help you identify emotional immaturity from you or your spouse and show you how you can deal with them.
Let us start discussing them right away:
- A Person can be said to be Emotionally Immature when S/he thinks everything is about them
This one is a biggie. People who are emotionally immature will always bring in the “me factor” at inappropriate times. They may have a hard time understanding that the world doesn’t revolve around them. If your spouse doesn’t pay attention to your concerns or interests, it’s a clear sign they have some emotional growing to do. In the same way, if you don’t pay attention to your spouses’ concerns.
- A person can be said to be emotionally Immature if they are too defensive.
If you bring something up, they’ll get overly defensive. For example, if you notice and complain that they are getting too close to a friend of the opposite sex, that you are not comfortable about, they’ll respond with “Why are you being too insecure?”.
Yes we know that there are some partners who are way too insecure, but as much as possible, once your partner notices that there is a person of the opposite sex that you are beginning to be too close to. You shouldn’t joke about cutting that relationship off. That shows you are emotionally mature and not selfish.
- A person can be said to be emotionally immature if they have commitment issues:
Talking about the future can feel intimidating to someone who is emotionally immature. They’ll avoid planning things together because they’re afraid of limiting their freedom.
They make up excuses for not meeting your parents or trying to schedule a vacation together? It can be a sign they’re commitment-phobic. This especially is for people in relationships intending to get married.
- A person can be said to be Emotionally Immature when they don’t own their mistakes
In short: They are not accountable. Instead of being thoughtful and admitting when they’ve messed up, they’ll place the blame on other people or circumstances beyond their control. Anyone who does not take responsibility for their mistakes in marriage is immature.
- A Person can be said to be Emotionally Immature if they won’t go deep in conversations.
An emotionally immature partner will delay tough conversations when there are real issue to discuss, because they aren’t able to make sense of their feelings or find them too overwhelming to deal with. They’ll skim the surface of topics without revealing much and won’t connect with you on a deeper level.
How you can Deal with Emotional Immaturity:
While reading the signs of emotional immaturity, if you could relate to the above points, if you noticed these signs in yourself or your spouse. Then this is how to deal with them. Firstly you might want to share the link to this article with your spouse. So S/He could read up.
- Initiate a straightforward conversation. Bring the issue to their attention. One of the simplest yet potent things we can do is to talk to the other person and be open to feedback.
- Be self-aware. Have an awareness of your own comfort level. Identify which situations make you feel hurt, uneasy, or angry.
- Communicate with your partner. Mention that there are certain things you won’t tolerate, like being shouted at or lied to.
- Follow through on what you say. No exceptions.
- Seek professional help. Talking to a professional about fears and insecurities can help someone develop more self-awareness about the effect their actions have on others.