After I got married to my wife, I listened to a preacher speak on compatibility in marriage. Sincerely it almost ruined my joy. I knew about marriage compatibility, I had read a few books where it was explained. But listening to that preacher almost made me think I had made a wrong choice. Guess what, I didn’t. I actually made the Best choice.
That preacher talked on the types compatibilities like: Physical Compatibility, Intellectual Compatibility, Emotional Compatibility, Spiritual Compatibility and Recreational Compatibility etc...
Everything he said sounded good in theory. That preacher spoke about marriage compatibility like you and your spouse must have everything in common, before you are compatible. No! Thats not true. You don’t need to have everything in common with your spouse. You can enjoy different types of music, movies and food, have separate career paths, have different talents, be from different social backgrounds, and still have a successful marriage, so long as you have the same Core Values.
Being in a compatible relationship simply means that firstly you work well together, secondly understand each other, then thirdly you enjoy each other’s company.
In searching for a life partner, you should find someone who shares your deepest beliefs. These are things like vision, religion, your morals, the things you value most and the things that make you who you are. This what must direct you to the person you’ll end up spending forever with. Not mundane things.
I am not trying to diminish the importance of the other types of compatibility, for instance; physical compatibility is very important — physical attraction to one another is necessary for a relationship to take hold and be maintained. You need to be attracted to your partner, and certainly not be repulsed.
But having the same core values, infuses and lifts a relationship to another dimension — and actually turns it into an eternal relationship.
Two people who share a vision and a mission — a vision that transcends each of their needs and the day to day changes of everyday life. They ask themselves: what transcendent vision do we share in how we would like to contribute to the greater good? What mark in the world do we want to make? What kind of home do we want build together? How do we want to raise our children, and how do we want them to shape the world they will grow up in? When people come into your environment, what kind of feeling do you want to give them? What legacy are you leaving?
In contrast to the other kind of compatibility types, which are all subject to change (due to age, changes in our needs and interests, maturity) visions and core values will last a lifetime and more. No matter what changes a person goes through in life — physical, emotional, intellectual — a vision does not change. Your vision and mission can take on different shapes and forms. Your fundamental personality — your essence, your personal mission — does not change. You discover new ways of manifesting your mission in life, but your essential calling and your key talents don’t change. When two people find a partnership on that level then their relationship is able to evolve throughout life.