Infidelity In Marriage: Can My Marriage Recover From Infidelity?
Infidelity is one of the most devastating things that can happen to a marriage. When a couple decides to marry, they make a vow to be faithful to one another. The unfortunate reality is that many marriages suffer from infidelity, whether physical or emotional.
When marriages are strained and relationship satisfaction is lacking, infidelity frequently rears its ugly head in relationships. The reasons for marital infidelity are as varied and as unique as marriage itself, but some of the most common causes are poor communication, a lack of intimacy, and unmet personal needs.
A Chapman University study discovered the different types of infidelity that plagued each spouse. According to their findings, men are more upset about physical infidelity than women are about emotional infidelity.
Marriage cheating is detrimental to marriage relationships, tearing a once-happy couple apart. It has the potential to sever trust, affecting everyone around you.
Children, relatives, and friends lose interest and hope. Relationships that were once worthwhile are now problematic. Is this to say that other couples have no chance of surviving infidelity in their marriage?
Why does Infidelity exist in Marriage?
Infidelity is best defined as any act that damages a relationship by breaching an implied or explicit agreement between two people.
What begins as a friendship or compassionate relationship evolves into an intimate one. Platonic friendships frequently develop into emotional problems, and the line between these two types of relationships is razor-thin.
When a platonic friendship becomes emotionally intimate and involves some level of secrecy, it becomes an affair.
The most common cause of infidelity, according to experts, is an emotional disconnect from your partner. The person who committed the affair expresses total sadness, feelings or insecurities, and a sense of being unappreciated, unloved, or ignored, which leads them to cheat on their partner.
All of these emotions result in secondary anger and resentment, which drives them to do things they later regret.
However, there are cases in which only the thrill of doing secret things and tasting the forbidden fruit leads to infidelity, making it impossible to determine what causes infidelity or how people cheat on their partners.
There are numerous causes of infidelity, but each case is unique. Some believe it is the result of a loveless marriage, others believe it is the result of a hasty decision that cannot be reversed, and still, others believe it is simply a failure to solve relationship problems.
Why would he or she cheat? The answer to that question varies greatly. That is a very personal response.
One obvious answer is that your spouse was not emotionally or physically satisfied in their marriage, or that something went wrong in their marriage that caused them to feel lonely.
However, many spouses are content but constantly cheat. Some spouses may justify their behaviour. So much so that they don’t think it’s a bad thing. The reality they choose to believe in their wedding vows, and sometimes the reality that people choose to believe portrays them as victims rather than opponents.
Other reasons include sex addiction, being pursued by someone you are not married to, or becoming jaded by flirting over time. Furthermore, flattery is difficult to dismiss.
Others are more susceptible to temptation in stressful situations, and many are less likely to admit and discover this while on business trips away from their spouse.
Can Marriage recover from infidelity?
Rebuilding trust is essential for a marriage to survive after infidelity. When you and your spouse promised to love each other until death do you part on your wedding day, it was a public declaration of a strong commitment and a desire to keep the bond intact regardless of what happened.
True, if your partner cheated on you, their vows were seriously jeopardized. However, this does not imply that the marriage must end.
You will be amazed at the strength and tenacity you can have to survive infidelity and work together to make your union stronger if you decide to work through the aftermath of an affair first.
If you want to pursue marital healing after being unfaithful to your spouse, consider the following steps:
Put an end to the affair
Stop all contact with the other person, including face-to-face meetings, text messages, phone calls, quick meetings, and, most importantly, romantic or sexual contact. If the other person contacts you, inform your spouse before he or she questions you. This will help to restore trust and total honesty.
Accept full responsibility for the situation
Although an affair usually indicates underlying problems in your marriage, you must accept responsibility for your decisions and actions. Regardless of the issues at home, you betrayed your marriage vows.
Although it is tempting to blame others, you must accept responsibility for your actions and set aside all excuses.
Try to understand your spouse
Your husband or wife will have a variety of emotional reactions to your infidelity. As you empathize with him or her, try to understand what the betrayed partner has gone through. This is not the time to demand that your spouse own imperfections or faults.
You must help establish your commitment and fidelity to the marriage relationship right now. Being empathetic can lead you to seek genuine heartfelt forgiveness.
You must take responsibility for your actions and abandon all justifications, even if it would be simple to fall into the blame game.
Try to understand your spouse’s perspective
Your cheating will elicit a wide range of emotions in your spouse or partner. Try to comprehend the betrayed partner’s perspective as you empathize with him or her. No demand that your spouse take responsibility for any flaws or shortcomings at this time.
You must now demonstrate your dedication and faithfulness to the marriage. The pursuit of genuine, honest forgiveness can result from having empathy.
Return to your spouse
This type of commitment can be expressed by stating that you are fully prepared to fight for your relationship and will do everything possible to protect it. Your spouse’s trust in you has been severely harmed or even lost, and regaining it will take time. The actions you take right now are critical to your recovery.
Be completely open and honest with your spouse
Although answering questions honestly and openly may appear counterintuitive, it is an important part of developing trust with your spouse. Tell the whole truth about your affair, including how it began and how it ended. If your spouse wants to understand your schedule, this is critical information.
Your spouse should be confident that you have no hidden secrets in social media, phone records, text messages, or any other information on your whereabouts.
Allow your spouse to inquire about your life and ask questions. Transparency will aid in the recovery process.
Protect your spouse from details that will conjure up images in his or her mind.
It is critical to commit to complete honesty; too many sexual details will expose your spouse to images he or she does not need to see. Having a counsellor walk you through this process can help you determine what information is useful and what may be harmful in the long run.
Seek assistance with your own heart’s healing
You will also feel a great deal of emotion, including feelings of shame, guilt, and unworthiness. Because a healthy marriage is made up of two healthy people, seeking outside assistance will benefit both you as an individual and the health of your marriage relationship.
Express your appreciation to your spouse.
Regardless of your choices, he or she chooses to fight for your marriage relationship. This is truly a selfless act of love. Make sure to express your gratitude to your husband or wife.
Although the effects of an affair will be felt in your relationship for a long time, It is possible to rebuild a good — even great — marriage over months or years.
Forgiving a cheating spouse is a two-way process.
You must ask for forgiveness and forgive your partner, who is equally eager to rebuild a healthy marriage by making the necessary sacrifices, investing in you, and participating equally in the marriage.
If you do, you will always remember the affair, but your feelings about it will be different next year than they are now. Time heals all wounds and is not just a catchphrase.
It is a plausible reality.
Take your time. Concentrate on healing and overcoming doubt. Adapt to the changes and see what happens. This step is a deliberate and effective way to survive an affair, but only if you and your partner can shake the sting of infidelity in your marriage.