Every individual on earth, have both strengths and weaknesses. So, it gets interesting when two individuals who have lived as separate individuals for perhaps over two decades of their lives, come together to now live as husband and wife, having different strengths and weaknesses.
In a successful Marriage, couples must know what they’re good at and what they’re terrible at. They must also know how to push the right buttons and create the enabling environments that enable them to support each other’s weaknesses so they can succeed.
In marriage you should master your strengths and the strengths of your spouse and know how to lean into them and use them to your full advantage, while supporting each other’s weaknesses to make the best out of your marriage.
It’s ignorance to see couples always complain, criticize, nag, grumble about the weaknesses of their spouse. Actually God designed it in such a way that your spouse should complete you. You enjoy their strengths and make up for their weaknesses.
In 2017 when I got married to my beautiful wife, Scholar, she observed that I was a tech savvy guy. I know a few things about modern technology, especially computers, and a few computer programs and mobile gadgets. For her, it didn’t matter, whatever the problem was, if it had to do with tech, she will pass it to me. Sometimes I felt, this is so simple, why not do it yourself? I got to understand later, that for me, truly it was simple, but for her, it wasn’t. That was my strength, and she isn’t wrong to lean on it. Although I want her to learn to do computer stuff on her own, I will support her as much as she needs me to.
Now on my part, I have weaknesses too. I never keep record of anything. I usually will forget figures of expenses made (My wife like us to keep them for record purposes), sometimes I even forget dates of important anniversaries and birthdays (I had to work on that, thanks to Facebook and Reminders). You could invite me on Thursday evening, for a birthday party holding on Saturday Evening and I will forget. A lot of friends thought I was ignoring invites on purpose, or I wasn’t a social person. Truth is that sometimes I am so busy, and I forget.
But my wife, she is so accurate. My wife even remembers the color of dress I wore the day I asked her out in 2011 (10 years ago). So, for me it’s simple, Anything I know I don’t want to forget, I just tell my wife. Because that is her strength. She used to criticize me before for not remembering all these things, but now she supports me to remember what is necessary.
So, my counsel to you is:
Master your strengths and the strengths of your spouse and know how to lean into them and use them to your full advantage. Also support your spouse’s weaknesses to make the best out of your marriage.
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