Abusive Marriage: How To Prepare For Divorce From An Abusive Partner

Abusive Marriage: How To Prepare For Divorce From An Abusive Partner

Abusive Marriage: How To Prepare For Divorce From An Abusive Partner.

Every divorce has its complications, but ending an abusive marriage can be especially difficult. The basic purpose of violence is to maintain control over the victim. If your spouse is abusive to you, they may also try to make the divorce more difficult to keep you from leaving.

Yet leaving an abusive partner is one of the best things you can do for yourself. This is even more important if you have children.

Once you have separated from your abuser, you can begin to build a life of safety, security, and fulfilment.

Abuse can take many forms and may not involve physical abuse. Many experts believe that an emotionally abusive partner can cause more scarring than actual physical abuse. If you are divorcing an emotionally abusive partner, there are steps you can take to protect yourself. You can often stay one step ahead of your attacker if you recognize specific patterns.

You can’t separate from your friends, but if you have good planning before starting the divorce process, you can help avoid harmful and destructive scenarios.

It is important to note that trying to leave an abusive partner can cause their behaviour to escalate. 

In fact, the weeks and months after leaving an abusive partner are the most dangerous part of the relationship. When you’re ready to go, it’s best to make your safety a priority. 

Here’s how to end your relationship without putting yourself in danger.

If you want to attempt an amicable divorce from an emotionally abusive partner, here are some steps to consider:

Get outside support. 

Taking care of yourself (and your children, if you have one) during emotionally difficult times can be very difficult. You will need all the support you can get. A support group, counsellor, therapist or life coach can be a great source of much-needed advice.

Be transparent about your emotionally abusive partner so friends and family can help. Have a friend babysit if necessary, and do whatever it takes to protect the child from any unhealthy scenes from an abusive partner.

Obtain professional legal advice

It can be tempting to save money trying to process your own divorce. However, if you are dealing with an emotionally abusive partner, you must ensure that your human rights and finances are protected.

Consult an attorney to determine the best course of action. 

The records are everything you need. You will need copies of all financial documents and an inventory of valuables. You should also document your spouse’s past and present emotional behaviour to share with your attorney. 

The focus is on what matters.

Divorce is not about “winning” or revenge after abuse. It’s about creating a better life for yourself. Your first priority should be to protect yourself and your family, and financially. Sometimes you may just need to let go of the past so you can let go of your abusive partner’s bad patterns.

Always be honest.

Your lawyer and support system can only help you if you have all the information you need. Also, if you try to hide certain things (like assets) from your spouse, you could be in big trouble. It is important to be open and honest at all times.

Get rid of old patterns. 

If your emotionally abusive partner has a regular schedule, you may already be caught up in a toxic home life.

How do you get along with people outside your marriage? Divorce is an opportunity to learn new ways to communicate and to start taking better care of yourself. Try to avoid fights and arguments with your emotionally abusive partner. It may have become a control mechanism without any positive results.

Don’t cross it alone.

Perhaps the most important thing about divorce is that you don’t have to go through it alone. It can be a scary, painful, and complicated process. You will need guidance and advice, and support is available throughout the process. Who can you call to help navigate rough waters?

Seek professional advice through a counsellor.

Trained and experienced life coaches and counsellors can help you with individual counselling and couple counselling when you need it most, especially during a separation or divorce. Having a professional on hand when breaking the news or discussing child custody can help streamline the conversation and distract from patterns of emotional abuse. Having a professional perspective can be invaluable as you pursue a new and better life for yourself.